“Forgive. Sounds good.
Forget. I’m not sure I could.
They say time heals everything. But I’m still waiting.”
Yo, Fucktard:
I really don’t know what else to say to you anymore. Your “woe is me” routine is beyond tiring. Poor Dee had a shitty childhood. Poor Dee had to sit alone in the cafeteria. Poor Dee’s wife was a bitch. Man the fuck up already and stop being such a fucking whiney assed bitch. Newsflash – a lot of other people have it much worse, and have had it, much worse than you. Stop blaming society for your faults. Imagine this - sometimes owning a mistake is the right thing to do.
I’m tired of being verbally battered by you because your girlfriend isn’t blowing you. And a special shout out to her – if ANY man called me “stupid” he wouldn’t have balls anymore. But then again, maybe he’s on to something there. I can assure you though, that man you’re waking up beside would have never, ever, disrespected me like that. If he had, he would be sleeping with the dogs. Although, sleeping with the dogs might be an improvement over sharing a bed with you - so nevermind. Just keep your lovers’ quarrels away from my kids.
And back to you Fucktard. How about not asking my friends to tag you in my pictures on facebook? You don’t need to be nosey, it serves you no purpose. Just rest assured that I’m much happier without you in those pics. I can also promise you that you won’t find any juicy “what’s amy up to” in said pics. If you want the sordid details you won’t find them on a public website. But you can bet your blonde, happy ass, that I’m having a ball. Without you.
Much love to you and the “stupid” cunthole,
Me
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
365 days without you.
“'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind
From the day we met till you were making me cry
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your life”
I hit the big milestone this week – one year separated. And wow, what a year it has been. I’ve learned a few lessons along my new journey and am grateful for each and every one.
-No matter how “done” you think you are, he will always find something else to make you cry about.
-You’ve never known how powerful the love of family and friends is until you’ve been thrown into hell.
-Kids are much stronger than we give them credit for. And their bluntness and honesty can sometimes be a great kick in the ass.
-Loneliness sucks. But it’s a hell of a lot better than crazy.
-Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, because some fucker is bound to wipe his nose on it.
-Chlorine and girls can make for amazing therapy.
-Dove chocolate can be a best friend.
-Riesling can too.
-You would be surprised at the number of people – men and women – who are in your same shoes. It’s how you walk in them that will determine if you wind up with blisters at the end of your path.
-No matter how many times you say to yourself “you can do this”, there are times that crawling up into a ball and sobbing is the only way you can.
-Attorneys are fucking expensive. (Well duh Amy)
-You can’t fix stupid. But you sure can make him sweat in a courtroom.
-Mediation blows. Hard. Whoever thought that it should be mandatory ought to have to sit beside of a rabid pit bull and try to figure out a parenting agreement.
-The desire to kick him in the balls never goes away.
-Sitting in a parenting class beside a slew of “baby daddies” can actually be quite entertaining.
-Sometimes your brother does know best. But don’t tell him that.
-The anger, hurt, rage, disappointment and grief never go away completely. But their red headed step siblings - happiness, love, understanding and forgiveness do show up to the party more and more frequently.
From the day we met till you were making me cry
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your life”
I hit the big milestone this week – one year separated. And wow, what a year it has been. I’ve learned a few lessons along my new journey and am grateful for each and every one.
-No matter how “done” you think you are, he will always find something else to make you cry about.
-You’ve never known how powerful the love of family and friends is until you’ve been thrown into hell.
-Kids are much stronger than we give them credit for. And their bluntness and honesty can sometimes be a great kick in the ass.
-Loneliness sucks. But it’s a hell of a lot better than crazy.
-Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, because some fucker is bound to wipe his nose on it.
-Chlorine and girls can make for amazing therapy.
-Dove chocolate can be a best friend.
-Riesling can too.
-You would be surprised at the number of people – men and women – who are in your same shoes. It’s how you walk in them that will determine if you wind up with blisters at the end of your path.
-No matter how many times you say to yourself “you can do this”, there are times that crawling up into a ball and sobbing is the only way you can.
-Attorneys are fucking expensive. (Well duh Amy)
-You can’t fix stupid. But you sure can make him sweat in a courtroom.
-Mediation blows. Hard. Whoever thought that it should be mandatory ought to have to sit beside of a rabid pit bull and try to figure out a parenting agreement.
-The desire to kick him in the balls never goes away.
-Sitting in a parenting class beside a slew of “baby daddies” can actually be quite entertaining.
-Sometimes your brother does know best. But don’t tell him that.
-The anger, hurt, rage, disappointment and grief never go away completely. But their red headed step siblings - happiness, love, understanding and forgiveness do show up to the party more and more frequently.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
What?
"But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man”
I apparently took a very long break away from my blogging – I apologize to my sanity for that. Brief catch up for those not within screaming distance of me and haven’t heard the latest…June 2 is the day I will file for the big D. For some insane reason, the asshole thinks we separated in July, but I’ll kick start his memory with a packet of papers for him to sign in JUNE.
Let’s see…since December, I’ve moved all my stuff out of the house, with the help of the Cornelius PD and “she” has moved in with him. His significant other, otherwise known as cunthole, had an unfortunate incident where all of her tires got slashed…I called it karma, he called the police. Once again the nice officers from the Cornelius PD got to know me. And, unfortunately for Mr and Ms Jones (yes, that is her last name) I had been in court that day, and had no reason to be in their neck of the woods. Karma is a bitch…and apparently she’s fond of Goodyear.
We’re locked in a custody battle right now. We have to go for our mandated mediation next week – should be a blast – so not looking forward to being alone with just him and a social worker in a room. My babies’ daddy thought that since I landed a job he was going to be getting off lighter with child support and was quite the pest towards me in calling my attorney and getting it resolved. My attorney returned my email with great news of her own – not only won’t he be getting a reprieve, but he’ll be paying almost $300 more a month. I chuckled.
Ok, I laughed pretty fucking hard.
He seems to think his child support is somehow affording me a lavish lifestyle. I guess he can’t remember that kids need to eat, be clothed, see, bathe…you know, all that stuff that kind of costs money. Wait a minute – I forgot. Neither of our kids are driving…they really don’t need to see. For those of you that missed that fun little exchange, that was his reasoning that Avery didn’t need glasses.
See, complete fucktard.
And now on to the rest of those of you that carry a Y chromosome. How about growing some balls and stop being such pussies. I swear to god my 3 year old boy has more nerve than most of you. Stop reading my Facebook if you’re gonna get jealous of a friend that I’ve known half my damned life and is gay. Seriously. Stop acting like a damned child, and be a fucking man.
Peace out.
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man”
I apparently took a very long break away from my blogging – I apologize to my sanity for that. Brief catch up for those not within screaming distance of me and haven’t heard the latest…June 2 is the day I will file for the big D. For some insane reason, the asshole thinks we separated in July, but I’ll kick start his memory with a packet of papers for him to sign in JUNE.
Let’s see…since December, I’ve moved all my stuff out of the house, with the help of the Cornelius PD and “she” has moved in with him. His significant other, otherwise known as cunthole, had an unfortunate incident where all of her tires got slashed…I called it karma, he called the police. Once again the nice officers from the Cornelius PD got to know me. And, unfortunately for Mr and Ms Jones (yes, that is her last name) I had been in court that day, and had no reason to be in their neck of the woods. Karma is a bitch…and apparently she’s fond of Goodyear.
We’re locked in a custody battle right now. We have to go for our mandated mediation next week – should be a blast – so not looking forward to being alone with just him and a social worker in a room. My babies’ daddy thought that since I landed a job he was going to be getting off lighter with child support and was quite the pest towards me in calling my attorney and getting it resolved. My attorney returned my email with great news of her own – not only won’t he be getting a reprieve, but he’ll be paying almost $300 more a month. I chuckled.
Ok, I laughed pretty fucking hard.
He seems to think his child support is somehow affording me a lavish lifestyle. I guess he can’t remember that kids need to eat, be clothed, see, bathe…you know, all that stuff that kind of costs money. Wait a minute – I forgot. Neither of our kids are driving…they really don’t need to see. For those of you that missed that fun little exchange, that was his reasoning that Avery didn’t need glasses.
See, complete fucktard.
And now on to the rest of those of you that carry a Y chromosome. How about growing some balls and stop being such pussies. I swear to god my 3 year old boy has more nerve than most of you. Stop reading my Facebook if you’re gonna get jealous of a friend that I’ve known half my damned life and is gay. Seriously. Stop acting like a damned child, and be a fucking man.
Peace out.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Ok Slack Ass...
"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance..."
September? Really? I can't believe I've gone so long between posts...
So much has happened since then. Mostly the divorce is continuing right along - with a few bumps in the road. I've finally grown my own set of balls and started standing up against someone...he doesn't particularly care for that. And he has lived up to his name of Fucktard on more than one occasion.
I had my first holiday without the kids back at Thanksgiving...boy that was tough. Way tougher than I would have imagined. For the most part both of them are chugging along as if this has been their whole existance. The three of us are now living at my mom's in the hopes I would have my own place after the first of the year. Then I lost my job. So we're here a little longer than I planned.
I'm ready for someone to stop throwing me curve balls already. I've just about had enough "lessons learned" chunked in my face. The latest just last week, when a friend took his own life and the life of his estranged wife. Sometimes I wonder how I wind up in the middle of shit like this. But mom made a great point the other day - maybe this is someone's way of showing me what can happen - or what I should be on guard for. I lost my job - and I'm hoping that opens up new opportunities that I'm yet to find. I lost Rob - and I'm hoping his death has taught me how truly fragile and tragic life can be.
On a lighter note - 6 months down - 6 more till I'm officially a divorced woman! :)
Love to everyone. I'm hoping the next post will be more humorous and less dark.
September? Really? I can't believe I've gone so long between posts...
So much has happened since then. Mostly the divorce is continuing right along - with a few bumps in the road. I've finally grown my own set of balls and started standing up against someone...he doesn't particularly care for that. And he has lived up to his name of Fucktard on more than one occasion.
I had my first holiday without the kids back at Thanksgiving...boy that was tough. Way tougher than I would have imagined. For the most part both of them are chugging along as if this has been their whole existance. The three of us are now living at my mom's in the hopes I would have my own place after the first of the year. Then I lost my job. So we're here a little longer than I planned.
I'm ready for someone to stop throwing me curve balls already. I've just about had enough "lessons learned" chunked in my face. The latest just last week, when a friend took his own life and the life of his estranged wife. Sometimes I wonder how I wind up in the middle of shit like this. But mom made a great point the other day - maybe this is someone's way of showing me what can happen - or what I should be on guard for. I lost my job - and I'm hoping that opens up new opportunities that I'm yet to find. I lost Rob - and I'm hoping his death has taught me how truly fragile and tragic life can be.
On a lighter note - 6 months down - 6 more till I'm officially a divorced woman! :)
Love to everyone. I'm hoping the next post will be more humorous and less dark.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Healing. Laughing. Loving.
"Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?"
I don't think I've ever had a positive post - so here goes. I had the absolute time of my life last weekend with some very special people. I've not laughed that long in forever - and I've most certainly not had that much fun in, well, I honestly can't remember. Laughter and friendship seem to be the two strongest allies to me right now - and I'm very grateful to have friends and family that provide both. None of you will ever know how much that means to me right now.
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?"
I don't think I've ever had a positive post - so here goes. I had the absolute time of my life last weekend with some very special people. I've not laughed that long in forever - and I've most certainly not had that much fun in, well, I honestly can't remember. Laughter and friendship seem to be the two strongest allies to me right now - and I'm very grateful to have friends and family that provide both. None of you will ever know how much that means to me right now.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
10 Fucking Years...
"If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose,
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss,
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done"
Forgive me blogger, for I have sinned. It has been a long assed time since my last confession, err..blog.
So much has happened these past few weeks, I'm not even really sure where I should start...
I guess the biggest "milestone" was the passing of what would have been our 10th anniversary. It was really surreal. And almost tragic. It was like I had worked all those years to get to that big milestone, for what? Not a fucking thing.
Ok, I take that back - my two kids. They are the only reason I have any fondness left of what used to be my marriage. The Sunday before "A" day (Thurs, Aug 12th), I was hurting. I remember I was on my way back home from mom's, when somewhere in Troutman, the song we danced to for our first dance as man and wife came on. I had already been dreading that week - wondering if I was supposed to mourn our anniversary, or just simply see it as another day that had come and gone. Once that song came on, I fucking lost it. I mean, full on, screaming, sobbing, can't see the road in front of me, breakdown. But you know what? Thursday came and went with no tears from me.
No remorse. No looking back at those past 10 years. The "new" Amy is looking forward to the next 10 years...and whatever they might bring. No wondering "what if"? He made the decision to betray our family...and I can't sit around and try to make sense of it. I have to move forward. I have to be strong for my kids. I must continue to live my life for me and them. I'm no longer a wife. I don't see myself as married any longer - I see Amy, and I really like who she's become. She's a fighter. She's a mother. She's a friend, confidant, bitch and all round kick ass chick. Sometimes I wish I could wind back the clock and have found Amy a lot sooner...I guess she's been hiding all these years, but now's her time to shine.
I also want to quickly thank everyone that has been with me through all of this. You will never know how much your support, words of encouragement and willingness to listen have meant. I love you all dearly.
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss,
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done"
Forgive me blogger, for I have sinned. It has been a long assed time since my last confession, err..blog.
So much has happened these past few weeks, I'm not even really sure where I should start...
I guess the biggest "milestone" was the passing of what would have been our 10th anniversary. It was really surreal. And almost tragic. It was like I had worked all those years to get to that big milestone, for what? Not a fucking thing.
Ok, I take that back - my two kids. They are the only reason I have any fondness left of what used to be my marriage. The Sunday before "A" day (Thurs, Aug 12th), I was hurting. I remember I was on my way back home from mom's, when somewhere in Troutman, the song we danced to for our first dance as man and wife came on. I had already been dreading that week - wondering if I was supposed to mourn our anniversary, or just simply see it as another day that had come and gone. Once that song came on, I fucking lost it. I mean, full on, screaming, sobbing, can't see the road in front of me, breakdown. But you know what? Thursday came and went with no tears from me.
No remorse. No looking back at those past 10 years. The "new" Amy is looking forward to the next 10 years...and whatever they might bring. No wondering "what if"? He made the decision to betray our family...and I can't sit around and try to make sense of it. I have to move forward. I have to be strong for my kids. I must continue to live my life for me and them. I'm no longer a wife. I don't see myself as married any longer - I see Amy, and I really like who she's become. She's a fighter. She's a mother. She's a friend, confidant, bitch and all round kick ass chick. Sometimes I wish I could wind back the clock and have found Amy a lot sooner...I guess she's been hiding all these years, but now's her time to shine.
I also want to quickly thank everyone that has been with me through all of this. You will never know how much your support, words of encouragement and willingness to listen have meant. I love you all dearly.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
You REALLY think so? Really?
"Love can be a tragedy when you do what you did to me
All I’m seeing now is red"
Fucktard:
The "Dearest" is done. You're no longer a little bit of a dear, you're just Fucktard. A big, hairy, piece of shit, Fucktard.
Since I need to calm down before my attorney calls me back today, I thought I'd respond to your email on here and let her tell me how to nicely respond to you in real life.
1. You DON'T have custody of the kids. I do. So if and when one needs to go to the doctor, I will take them and I DON'T have to have your permission. Fuck you. You think you don't have to pay dr bills just because I didn't call you first, think again. Push me asshole, and that will be SOLE legal custody to Amy.
2. Concerning the house - I really don't need your decision by tomorrow cause I'm done playing with you. Fuck the agreement, we'll just go to court. And guess what?! Your name is as much on the mortgage and deed as is mine, and until I refinance the house out of your name, you're legally responsible for paying your share. Don't pay it? I'll take Suntrust the keys and tell them they can have the damn thing. See if they let you get out your prized Star Wars shit. You really think I'm going to let you have both computers? Um, no. You want the skillet? Upside your fucking head. And I will be giving no one a lump sum for anything, especially your stupid ass. You want half the profit - fine. I'll take alimony. Thinking I'll get out better in the end there anyways. The rest of your stuff will be put in storage when I have time. You should have put it out there when you moved out. Fuck you.
3. So what if you have "previously requested access to the house" to supervise the removal of your stuff. I haven't removed anything, and even if I had, you best be glad it didn't wind up in the Mecklenburg County landfill.
4. Did you seriously just ask me to push out child support as long as we can? NO. Actually, FUCK NO. My lawyer has her retainer, and I'm guessing a court date can be just right around the corner.
5. Last time I checked the dogs are your responsibility too - and if I need to board them because you can't keep them at your house, then you pay half. And no, it's like child support, you don't pay, you don't visit, so you will not be taking them to the park. I hope one of them bites you. Hard.
6. Where I go on vacation is none of your concern, and if I want to take the kids to fucking Africa, guess what?! I can. All I have to do is make sure I tell you - and guess what? I did. "The kids need to remain in the state of NC". Fuck you again. I'll tell A that she can't go to the beach because her father is a peckerhead.
7. The alleged herpes thing. I never told you I was infected, and no, I will not be retested. I'll send you the sheet from my doctor, and I'll make sure he puts a special note on there just for you so that your idiot ass can understand - I am NOT positive for anything, so how bout fucking off with the whole Amy cheated too shit.
8. Things can no longer be "simple" because you're a fuckhead. And "right now you're not doing best for anyone, not even yourself for down the road" is just plain stupid. You just said "Please don't fuck me Amy, I don't have the cash for an attorney." Um, sorry. Bend over...
9. The bank account - yes, I've been "poking" around in it. Meaning, my name is still on the account, I can look at it all fucking day long if I want. I've not taken any money out of it, only looked at it. Change the password dipshit if you don't want me "poking".
10. No, you're not waiting my response any longer - you're waiting my attorney's. She's a a bitch too - maybe you can keep your dick in your pants when she starts getting "pissy" with you.
Fuck you.
Amy
All I’m seeing now is red"
Fucktard:
The "Dearest" is done. You're no longer a little bit of a dear, you're just Fucktard. A big, hairy, piece of shit, Fucktard.
Since I need to calm down before my attorney calls me back today, I thought I'd respond to your email on here and let her tell me how to nicely respond to you in real life.
1. You DON'T have custody of the kids. I do. So if and when one needs to go to the doctor, I will take them and I DON'T have to have your permission. Fuck you. You think you don't have to pay dr bills just because I didn't call you first, think again. Push me asshole, and that will be SOLE legal custody to Amy.
2. Concerning the house - I really don't need your decision by tomorrow cause I'm done playing with you. Fuck the agreement, we'll just go to court. And guess what?! Your name is as much on the mortgage and deed as is mine, and until I refinance the house out of your name, you're legally responsible for paying your share. Don't pay it? I'll take Suntrust the keys and tell them they can have the damn thing. See if they let you get out your prized Star Wars shit. You really think I'm going to let you have both computers? Um, no. You want the skillet? Upside your fucking head. And I will be giving no one a lump sum for anything, especially your stupid ass. You want half the profit - fine. I'll take alimony. Thinking I'll get out better in the end there anyways. The rest of your stuff will be put in storage when I have time. You should have put it out there when you moved out. Fuck you.
3. So what if you have "previously requested access to the house" to supervise the removal of your stuff. I haven't removed anything, and even if I had, you best be glad it didn't wind up in the Mecklenburg County landfill.
4. Did you seriously just ask me to push out child support as long as we can? NO. Actually, FUCK NO. My lawyer has her retainer, and I'm guessing a court date can be just right around the corner.
5. Last time I checked the dogs are your responsibility too - and if I need to board them because you can't keep them at your house, then you pay half. And no, it's like child support, you don't pay, you don't visit, so you will not be taking them to the park. I hope one of them bites you. Hard.
6. Where I go on vacation is none of your concern, and if I want to take the kids to fucking Africa, guess what?! I can. All I have to do is make sure I tell you - and guess what? I did. "The kids need to remain in the state of NC". Fuck you again. I'll tell A that she can't go to the beach because her father is a peckerhead.
7. The alleged herpes thing. I never told you I was infected, and no, I will not be retested. I'll send you the sheet from my doctor, and I'll make sure he puts a special note on there just for you so that your idiot ass can understand - I am NOT positive for anything, so how bout fucking off with the whole Amy cheated too shit.
8. Things can no longer be "simple" because you're a fuckhead. And "right now you're not doing best for anyone, not even yourself for down the road" is just plain stupid. You just said "Please don't fuck me Amy, I don't have the cash for an attorney." Um, sorry. Bend over...
9. The bank account - yes, I've been "poking" around in it. Meaning, my name is still on the account, I can look at it all fucking day long if I want. I've not taken any money out of it, only looked at it. Change the password dipshit if you don't want me "poking".
10. No, you're not waiting my response any longer - you're waiting my attorney's. She's a a bitch too - maybe you can keep your dick in your pants when she starts getting "pissy" with you.
Fuck you.
Amy
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